Bit of a bumper student edition coming up. More characters as well as the agony that being on hold to Student Finance creates. Let's start with some characters.
It's your 21st birthday. You've organised a night out that would put the cast of The Hangover to shame. Bar tab, new shirt, private booth, cabs booked. It's going to be wild.
"Oh, I can't make it, I got an assignment today and I want to get it out of the way."
No matter what the occasion, study comes first, without doubt. Fun is an unneeded part of the uni experience, and will rarely be suffered for the next three years.
Like a Wolf in the night, the Casanova hunts his prey. The pub. The SU bar. The late night trip to Asda. He is always on the pull. When he finally lures them into his trap, he takes them back to his room, with it's awkwardly thin walls, so that you are ensured to hear every awkward noise, that does not sound unlike an actual wolf. And you are forced to look the pair of them in the eye as they leave the room the next morning. Again... and again.
At some point in your uni career, you will have called these monsters up for advice or help, only to have them throw it back in your face after you've been on hold for the past 30 minutes, going from 7th in the queue, to 8th, to 5th, then to 19th. You've tried pleading with them, only to have them send you a form that requires you tick one box, sign it, and send it back. I'm ecstatic to say I have one year left of the demons, but what a horrendous year I'm sure it will be. Vodafone should consider adding 'student finance' to their price plans. And for all you non-students, here's what being on hold to them is like:
Oh and c'moooooooooooon Engerland!!!!
Over and out.